5 Active Listening Skills To Improve Your Relationship5 Active Listening Skills To Improve Your Relationship

From the time we were tiny tots, we were told to listen. "Put on your listening ears," mom and dad often told us. Or "close your mouth and open your ears." Listening seems like a simple thing to learn. As we go about the business of developing our listening skills many of us develop selective hearing as well.

Developing good listening skills is very important. Listening keeps us out of trouble and lets us know when we have done a good job. Listening keeps us informed of our surroundings and our lives. One of the most important skills in a relationship is listening to your partner. If your girl friend or boy friend, significant other, partner equivalent or spouse accuses you of not being a good listener, you better clean out those ears and listen to what they have to say. In addition to being a good listener is to be very good at understanding what you heard. Here are 5 ways to improve your listening skills.

1. Ask questions to make sure you understand:
Often times, what we hear and what is meant are two different things. That might be the number one reason we are accused of not listening. Making sure you are both on the same page is half the battle. But don't question ever little thing that is said. Maybe a 5 word recap is enough to verify you are both on the same page.

2. Eliminate distractions:
Turn off the television, radio and phone if necessary and provide your undivided attention. Multi-tasking is a wonderful and useful skill but not if it compromises another skill such as listening. Clear your mind of your agenda and give your two ears' to your partner.

3. Don't interrupt:
But I thought you said ask questions to make sure you understand what is being said? I did. Let the speaker finish a thought before asking a question. Don't cut the speaker off in mid sentence. It is not only a bit rude but it interrupts the speaker's train of thought. And it tells your partner you really don't care what they are saying.

4. Listen respectfully:
No matter how angry you might be, listen to what your partner has to say. Don't tell them you know what they are going to say because until they say it, you don't know. Don't interpret what you think they mean. Let them have their say and respond in a civil manner. Don't tell them you've heard it all before. Even if you have, just keep it under your hat.

5. Sometimes listening is all they want:
Unless your partner asks for advice or a response of some kind, just let them talk. It might be all they want to do. They just may have something on their mind and need to get it out. They may want a sounding board and not a resounding board. Listening to someone doesn't always mean you have to respond. Sometimes a friendly nod or even a hug is all they really want.
by Christine Crotts
References and Bibliography
Christine Crotts doesn't like to admit it, but enjoys hanging out at the spa. Christine has written a site containing reviews on white bath towels, as well as childrens bath towels.
Rated:NR/0 Votes
Add To My Article Reading List
Add To My Article Reading List
Print Article
More Article By Christine Crotts
More Article by Christine Crotts
More Articles From Relationships
More Articles From Relationships
Related Articles and Readings
Keep Listening Skills Sharp By: Steve Brunkhorst
Listening is an emotional and intellectual act of "hearing" another person and responding to his or her verbal and nonverbal messages in a deep, caring way.People commonly use four types of listening. The first two are very unproductive; whereas, the last two result in efficient communication:1. Inactive listening. This type ...
Effective Listening Skills By: Dermot Fitzpatrick
Knowing customer wants and needs is a key part of providing a useful and successful business. Having effective listening skills is essential because if you aren't able to listen to your client then how can you be expected to know what they want or need?By following the guidelines below you ...
Whats the Problem Introducing Solution Focus Pt 1 By: Saundra L Washington
Solution Focus is the brain child of Insoo Kim Berg and Steve de Shazer. This positive approach to problem resolution is rooted in the tradition of Milton Erickson's brief therapy. It assumes that small modifications in the individual's cognitive and behavioral expressions can lead to significant life changes. ...
Developing Listening Comprehension Skills in IDI English Language Students By: Larry M Lynch
Current System of Listening Comprehension Laboratory AttendanceIn the current IDI, or Institute of Languages of the Santiago de Cali University system ?independent? EFL students, that is those learners who are not registered in a university career program, are ?exempted? from listening laboratory attendance. In my opinion, this is a serious ...
Interview Skills That Set You Apart By: Linda Trignano
Today as a career coach, I rely on my past experience as a former recruiter with a Fortune 50 company to help my clients focus on what needs to be done to land their next job. Often I begin working with a new client and quickly find out that while ...
The information provided in this article and/or the comments is the sole responsibility of their respective authors and does not necessarily reflect the opinion of ezinepost.com. ezinepost.com  does not endorse any article and/or comments published by our web users unless otherwise noted. 

Member Panel

login to submit articles and more


  • » Active Categories: 419
  • » Active Articles:252603
  • » Active Authors:31917
  • » Active Members: 38237
  • » Statistics Updated:
    - Tue Sep 1st, 2020 09:28AM EST