Divorce Is Seldom The Right Answer!Divorce Is Seldom The Right Answer!

It may sound terribly old-fashioned; marriage is a commitment, and couples must make every attempt not to dishonor that commitment in any way. Staying married must be a lifelong mission. It takes courage and nerves of steel to make a marriage work. Patience, a sense of humor and a lower degree of self-importance can sustain us in this effort.

The obstacles will be numerous, and there will be situations where we will question our sanity, unsure if we can really hang in there. It will be a monumental effort to remain attracted to the same qualities that attracted you to your spouse on the first day you met. Your spouse Is still the same person you fell in love with; neither of you is a stranger.

Marriage is a relationship of balance. . . And a balance that is so easily upset these days, and the solution many people choose to deal with the unfortunate situation is to divorce. There is that unrealistic belief that divorce makes people happier after they leave a sad marriage.

Studies appear to suggest that this is a myth, because evidence points to the contrary. Depression symptoms do not necessarily diminish with divorce, nor did divorce raise people's self-esteem. It was discovered that on average, couples who divorced, were no happier five years after the divorce, than equally unhappy couples who stayed together.

A significant number of married people usually want to settle their divorce with the least possible hassle, but divorce lawyers, those who care to admit it, agree that a painless divorce is non-existent. And the trauma, legal, financial, and emotional, will be felt long after the divorcing couples have left the courts.

Men and women perceive emotion, communication, sex, fidelity, work and money because of the way they were socialized and because they have been shaped by their own parents' perceptions. They bring these ideas into the marriage and hence have their own baggage of beliefs regarding what is tolerable and intolerable in a marriage; what they have to give their spouse and what to expect in return.

Remember that your partner is not your mirror image. In a loving, effective partnership, individuality and separateness are wholesome concepts that each spouse must work at. A true understanding of these gender differences should therefore lead us to the proper notion of a marriage. While many people view marriage as a union, making two separate individuals one, we must still keep our own individuality and deal with our own problems ourselves.

Be friends in a marriage. Friendship means an open and honest communication; a no holds barred type of union where our comfort level with our spouse goes beyond a hundred percent; assured that what we say and how we say it will not be judged or taken in a negative light.

If we have painted the unpleasant side of divorce, it is to help you realize that it may not necessarily be the solution to your unhappiness, and life does have hitches and will always be full of obstacles, threatening the stability of married life. We now offer some tips on how to save your marriage .

RPBhalla writes extensively on Family, Health and Money matters.

breakup,relationships,divorce,save my marriage.
by Ram Bhalla
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