Advancing Technology Through MiceAdvancing Technology Through Mice

It's become very clear that when technology advances, so do mouse buttons. For instance, a long time ago there were mice with only one button. A second button scurried after the first; our lives became easier with the ability to right click. A short time later, a third button was found to be necessary. After a while, the wheel was invented.

At the current rate of progression, I'm quite sure that there will soon be more mouse buttons and more wheels. As to what they will do, I remain uncertain on that point. I was arguing with a friend last week about the subject of a button addition. He believes that with a fourth mouse button, one will be able to update his computer software. I argued with his prediction. I felt, and still do, that at the current rate of technological progression, a fourth button will perform an action much more impressive than simply updating software. I firmly believe that a fourth button will either cause a pizza to be delivered to one's door, or pop up a dialog box which states how many light bulbs to buy next time one goes shopping.

After the fourth button comes into existence, I foresee more wheels being added. Honestly, I don't see the need for ever having more than four wheels. After the four button/four mouse wheel is accepted into society, technology must further advance -- as it always has and always will. The mouse will need to have more capacity. The wheels will be made larger, and inevitably the buttons will become doors. People will be able to ride in them to visit neighbors and family members to engage in conversation. Once this has happened, a communication device will be installed into the mice -- or installed near the mouse inside a home. The communication device will allow people to call ahead before a visit, or to notify people if their mouse breaks down and can't visit at the appointed time.

Benefits must always accompany new technology, else there is really no point. Speed is almost always involved with new technological achievements. Fax machines and calculators are two examples of how technology can increase the speed at which daily tasks are performed. Benefits of the improved mouse would include being able to ride in the mouse to the store so one can view an item firsthand before purchasing it. Once the item is viewed and the consumer is satisfied it will fulfill his or her needs, that person can immediately purchase it and bring it home with him. Waiting to possess items already purchased is very old-fashioned, in my opinion.

Another benefit of having this improved mouse is that people will be able to talk to each other face to face. Since people were born with mouths and ears, it's important to keep them exercised and practice verbal communication more frequently. Person-to-person communication is important since humanity consists primarily of about six billion persons.

I predict that the evolution of mice in our world will play an integral facet in the evolution of technology and humankind. Mice will be an essential ingredient in the development of the human race and also will change how the world communicates, and how business is performed. There will be a radical jump in culture world-wide because most misunderstanding will immediately be made clear through instantaneous verbal and visual communication. An increased feeling will surface causing us to realize that we all live on the same planet. Soon after, family members will begin to feel that each member is related to the other.

Once mice have developed, changing their name might be in order. Perhaps they will be called cars -- an acronym which stands for cats ate rat salad.

by Andy Alt
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Andy Alt
Mental Dimensions
A humor column for people who enjoy observational humor, political farce, comedy editorials, satire and spoof, along with an occasional dose of non humor

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