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Articles By:Andy Alt

How to Properly Deactivate a Bomb By: Andy Alt
Movies have been made for decades -- many of them involve a bomb being deactivated. When I see a scene in which a bomb is deactivated 1-3 seconds before it's about to explode, I'm not impressed by the script writing. If I ever write a screenplay that includes a scene ...
Appearing Naked in Other Peoples Dreams By: Andy Alt
Appearing naked in other people's dreams is a concept which occurred to me as I woke up this morning from a dream in which I was naked. It's about time someone added this important idea to our literary and cultural heritage.Advantages to appearing naked in other people's dreams seem infinitely ...
Problematic 6000 By: Andy Alt
The Problematic 6000 is especially designed with innovation in mind. This device was created to help a person create problems, rather than solve them. Is there someone in your life who has betrayed you, or wronged you in any way imaginable? Once you turn this device on, it automatically reads ...
Being Right or Being President isnt a Popularity Contest By: Andy Alt
Having a President who prefers fascism might seem like a fun time, especially if you're working for him, or in the oil business, but sometimes Democracy can suffer. For instance, Mr. Bush doesn't care about poll numbers. "Bein' President isn't about bein' popular. There were two popularity contests, and I ...
Terrorism on the Rise George Bush a Suspect By: Andy Alt
Beware of George Bush, a suspected terrorist. For years now, George Bush has been attempting to instill fear into his fellow Americans. He's interfered with two free Democratic elections, and concerns are rising that America's Democracy is rapidly thinning. While spreading Democracy to other nations, George Bush has used up ...
You Wont Find Sesame Street on MapQuest By: Andy Alt
Sesame Street must exist in an alternate universe. I recently asked a fellow, "Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street, where the air is sweet?" He gazed at me rather curiously and quickly walked away. I searched today, but couldn't find Sesame Street on ...
NSA May be Wagging the Dog with New Spying Policies By: Andy Alt
(63 seconds ago)White House spokesman Tony Snow has announced three new policy changes which will be enacted by the National Security Agency. His announcement, however, is not causing much concern about invasion of privacy.The NSA will start monitoring all messages contained within fortune cookies. Mister Snow has made it clear ...
Guide to Dummy Books for Dummies By: Andy Alt
You've arrived just in time! You're here, so I assume you're wanting to better yourself and expand your mind -- and not through drugs, but through reading. I'm so excited for you! I'll do the best I can to help you buy your Dummy Book, and I'll be extra careful ...
On Switch Off Switch By: Andy Alt
I don't like being mentally ill because it means that sometimes my mind can't understand things as well as healthy minds. I know that I am inferior to the big Incorporated Corporated Conglomerated Companies who are successful and whose minds are not ill. Personally, I don't think of myself as ...
Irish Chemist Creates Four Leaf CloverMarijuana Hybrid By: Andy Alt
A scientific breakthrough just in time for Saint Patrick's Day, the world's first Four Leaf Clover-Marijuana hybrid has been approved for private consumption. The only condition is that a wet towel be placed under the door prior to its use. The creation of this marvelous plant is sure to spark ...
Destruction of Urinal Cakes on the Rise By: Andy Alt
It is the solemn duty of this news commentator to not only report, but comment on current events. As a highly-respected journalist, I feel morally compelled to comment on the needless vandalism of urinal cakes across the nation. While true they are referred to as cakes, and true that homeless ...
Advancing Technology Through Mice By: Andy Alt
It's become very clear that when technology advances, so do mouse buttons. For instance, a long time ago there were mice with only one button. A second button scurried after the first; our lives became easier with the ability to right click. A short time later, a third button was ...

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